|Posted on November 6, 2017 at 10:05 AM|
It's Monday November 6th. Technically it's day 6. For me it may have to be day 1 again...
Time for confessions:
I'm not perfect. :roll:Even as your 'Leader' through this 21DWPC, I too find my bad habits I formed since I last did a strict Nutrition Reset 21DWC. I too succumb to cravings and sometimes binge eat. It especially happens when I start back up strict, on the 21DWPC. For the most part, I live this lifestyle, and have for over 2 years. I make the healthiest food choices possible and am always aware of what I'm putting into my system. And when I'm not strict on the 21DWPC then I allow myself to enjoy my favorite terrible foods every ONCE in a while. SO when I go back to strict, my mind plays it's mind games and glosses over bad habits formed and tries to overlook tiny transgressions :D.
I'll go first.
I did well from last Wednesday through Friday Night....that's 3 whole days:/. I went out and had some drinks. Now, when I drink on a weekend night, I recognize that I have gotten in the habit of stopping at 711 on my way home. Usually i'll grab a bag of cheetos and an apple fritter and a diet water. This usually logs in the back of my mind as my "cheat meal" and I'll keep my eating clean the rest of the weekend.
Well, early Saturday morning, Nov 4th at 1AM, I habitually stop at 711, but I don't grab 1 apple fritter, I grab two, and the bag of cheetos, and one beef empenada pattie, AND one of their microwavable burritos! I was drunk. I knew exactly what I was doing though. While grabbing these items I simultaneously was thinking where I went wrong Friday which was allowing me to throw everything out the window x200%. I knew as I grabbed the two apple fritters that I hadn't given myself time to make myself a healthy dinner that night, I just downed a quick protein shake before going out. (like the movie Inception, was I inside of my head, being inside of my head, watching from the outside, realizing I was rationalizing every movement I made in this convenience store???)
As I grabbed the cheetos, I recognized that this 711 routine, had become a habit and a routine whenever I get a buzz going. As I grabbed the microwave burrito, I realized I fucked up and my will to stop this sacrilege, was nowhere to be seen. And as I asked for the beef patty and paid I was thinking that what the hell, I'll eat it ALL, wash it all down with some Metamucil when I got home and start over Saturday morning. AND NOT TELL ANYONE. End scene.
SATURDAY NIGHT I get DRUUUUUUNK early, 6:30pm early! figured I didn't have to work in the morning so let loose Yovanny! Then friends are meeting me to go out on a night on the town, while I was out on a night on the town already. I know I have to get something in my stomach or else I might die of alcohol poisoning, SO I order fried chicken fingers, french fries, with ranch, sweet&sour, and ketchup sauce. And then hit the town again! And by the end of the night....well I can't remember, I just remember NOT driving home drunk, crashing at a friend's kitchen table then waking up at 3:30AM with the imprint of the marble table tile on my face.
I came prepared this time though! I walk back to my car, while i'm thinking of how hungry I was again and how that trip to 711 seemed so riiiiiight! I climb into my car, and realize I had packed a grocery bag of snacks from home.......damn it to fucking hell!! UGHHHH! A banana sat gingerly on my dashboard, in the center console, a can of cashews, a premixed protein shake, and on the passenger seat a bag of gluten free pretzels (Like your mother did back in elementary school -carefully packing your metal lunch box). I fucking hated healthy Yovanny at that moment. Because sober, healthy, smart, mature Yovanny had prepared a full snack fest for drunk hungry Yovanny with no room for excuses. I got home then didn't leave hangover house all of Sunday. I got out of bed around 2pm, hungry. Again. It's Sunday so of course it's Brunch. But hangover headache was not going to handle other people right now. I made my bacon, eggs, balck coffee, and cinnamon, protein, 21DWPC approved pancakes. Monday is going to be another restart day.